sing for absolution

Oh.

Here's what I hate: I hate that I've been feeling guilty, been keeping one of the best parts of my Chico experience a secret to spare feelings... Alot of people's feelings actually because I was flat out sure people back home would judge me for meeting someone so quickly after moving and I don't know, getting involved or whatever. It was never my intention and I don't wake up in the morning and think "How am I going to hurt people today?" because I was raised better than that.

I hate that I've been doing that and surprise some of the people I've been trying to avoid hurting? They've been hiding the same damn thing from me. And some people knew and didn't say anything. Not that I expected them to but for real?

At any rate, I don't feel guilty or bad or even wrong anymore.

I'm dating someone. There. It's out there. He's rad and as my friend Dain would say, he's a "stuff do-er." This Ben person, the cat even likes him. (Then again the cat is kind of a whore, but we love her anyway.)

I'm not mad. I'm not even like... what's the word I'm looking for... who cares? I'm sad because from everything I've been told about this next venture in the life of this boy I used to think I was going to marry? I was never his type anyway. We may have just been wasting each other's time for a long time.

Typical.

Anyway happy Friday bitches. I'm gonna be Lady Gaga about this and be a free bitch, baby.