Sitting here in Bakersfield

Social Distortion has a new record coming out in 2011 and this song is on it.

It makes me giggle for many reasons, one of which being some old friends of mine were on tour with them when they wrote it. The boys I knew had a couple of days off from the tour and did a show with Guttermouth in San Luis Obispo and moved into my house for three days before we all headed out to Bakersfield so they could rejoin the tour and my roommate and I could see Social Distortion and of course support our friends.

I've seen Social D about 15 times. I think the Bakersfield show was the 15th, because I haven't seen them since. I was standing on the side of the stage at Stramler Park that night, it was summer and I was behind the little fence that keeps "the public" out sipping on a Coors light that someone had handed me and listening to this song for the first time, after learning it was only a few weeks old. I could see all the old people I used to know in town, some now married with their babies on their shoulders in the park and it was just a really great night.

I had a lot of nights like that back in 2005... It was probably the second most fun summer of my life after the summer of 1999, which was for the most part spent in Bakersfield.

I'll be back in Bakersfield next week for three days. Should be a good time. I won't have a car though, so I'm not sure how it's gonna work out. I don't have money to go out anyway so it's not that big of a deal.

Heather.

Heather may have never remembered me, but I will always remember her. She was around during the best part of my Bakersfield life, the Misbliss days... Heather was the goddess that was my friend's wife.

Heather was a gorgeous, talented, brave, warrior woman. She was an Amazon. She may have even loved us little goth rock rug rats. What I do know is she was always extremely kind to me and a hell of lot of fun to be around.

I feel horrible because I heard what happened while I was home for Thanksgiving but it didn't click who had passed away, because of the way I got the information and because I never knew Heather by her birth last name, but as my friend's wife. My friend's last name.

Heather was never intimidating to me because she was so (excuse me) fucking inspiring to me. I loved her in this very little girl crush way. Because she was so brave and so sure of who she was. She wasn't at least in my eyes scared of anything or anyone. She was my own personal Siouxsie Sioux. I'll never forget her and a lot of my friends won't either.

Tell the people you love that you love them every day. Tell them constantly. Tell them until you're mute and they're deaf. Never let anyone you love slip away. Never let anyone you remotely care about feel alone. Never be afraid to tell people you idolize that you love them, that you care. Never. It's messy and embarrassing but it's real. Be real. Be strong. Be an Amazon.

This. When I think of Heather, this is what I think of:

I'm gonna tell you a secret

This was not our first date, date. But it was the first time we went out in a group with some friends.

Goofing off at my house before a Seahawks game.

Goofing off at my house before I left for a remote.

Goofing off at Duffy's when the Giants won the World Series.

At Noriega's for my mom's birthday.

Secret time? I love this man. Bigger secret? He loves me too.

Familia

Happy Birthday Mama D

This is my Mama D. AKA Denise, AKA my second mom. Today is her birthday.

I haven't always had a Mama D. She came to our family after I moved to San Luis Obispo and I can honestly say it helped me relax about moving away. I didn't worry so much about my dad being lonely after I left and took our kitty with me for awhile.

I am so excited to be going home tomorrow to see Mom and my Dad. I haven't really been able to spend as much time with them this past year as I would've liked to. I'm glad I get to go home for a few days and see the family and celebrate Denise's birthday too.

Happy Birthday Denise! I love you!!!

By this time next week I could be...

Or we could just stay in Bakersfield all weekend. I don't know. My sister can't come home for Thanksgiving so I might go out there on Friday to see her. Ben hasn't ever been to SLO either. So we'll see.

two days in the valley

In a couple of weeks, Ben and I are driving down to my parents house for Thanksgiving weekend. This is pretty cool since Ben has never been further south than Fresno. Bakersfield is completely alien to him and as far as I know he doesn't really have preconceived notions of what it will be like.

So the question becomes what do I show him in the limited amount of time we have down on Earth?

Obviously we're going to go to the VIP for a spell. (Did I just say "spell?" I am turning into my grandma.) And maybe here:


Because who hates Mexicali?

And I might be a douchebag if I don't at least show Ben The Mint.


Don't believe the hype, yeah this place is a total hole, but I've had a lot of fun there.

I am beyond excited though, because I get to show him Noriega's which you may remember is where I celebrated my 30th birthday. I pulled up the menu the other day to show him what was being served and explained how you eat there and I think he went into a food coma just listening to me talk. Ha ha.

In a word, it's going to be glorious. Time/Money permitting we may jet over to SLO for the day on Friday since Mom's birthday party is Saturday but this is also only of course if I can get Dad to pet sit Lily for the day, since Lily is coming with us.

Yes, I'm the lunatic who travels with her cat. So?

Anyway what else in the big bad Bakersfield do I show this guy? No clue when I'll ever drag him out of Nor Cal again so any suggestions? I'll take em.

See you guys in a couple of weeks.

Yay!

These are my friends Trent and Lora at my going away party...

I met them about two months before I moved to the Moon and they're good people. Always willing to help you with whatever and always always down to have a good time.

I'm excited because Lora's job brought them to Oregon which in turn is bringing them to Chico on their way back to their winter home in Bakersfield. We're probably going to get drinks and laugh loads. I can not wait.

----

On another note, HELLA homesick for SLO lately. I know, I know I was just there two months ago. I just miss a couple of people more than I care to let on. Need one of those big bear hugs and a laugh at my own expense.

Need some time at the Black Sheep with the lovely Nicole. Need to sink my toes in the sand...

Been listening to Lady Gaga Radio on Pandora while I'm home and it's like listening to a time machine.

Things about me you may not know

I'm a pretty sensitive kid. You wouldn't know it because I'm always joking and I laugh a lot. I like making other people laugh. I like to make other people feel like the best person they can be. I live for that kind of a thing. Hell if you think about it, it's kind of what I do for a living. I think the world would be a better place if everyone went around thinking how they could make other people feel good about themselves.

But for all the smiling and joking, I'm really a sensitive kid. I cry pretty easily when I'm alone. How emo, I know, feelings are lame. But it's true. I cry at talking animal movies, any movie where someone dies, I cry at books, I cry at sad songs. I am just this massive ball of emotional retardedness.

Someone asked me recently why I always say "It's fine, don't worry about it." I think it's because I'm telling myself that. Because being so far away from my support system, falling apart every time something hurts my feelings, it's not an option. Because if someone yells at me at work or I misread someone's intentions in my life, I can't just run over to Teresa's house or go to the Black Sheep and tell Nicole about it over some veggie chilli. Hell I can't even go to the radio station and unload on Jojo (which I'm sure he's relieved about, ha ha) or make Tristan go to McCarthy's with me so he can tell me to sack up, rub some dirt on it and walk it off.

On the same level I can't just get in the car and drive two hours and be at my parents house either. Or Jackie's house. Or well... anyone. I'm six hours away at least from everyone who knows me best. So being sad, having a fit, needing something, these aren't options. It has to be okay. I can not worry about it.

Like on Thursday we had this huge event. And some stuff went wrong. And I couldn't freak out. I had no option but to say it was fine, walk it off and put a big smiley face on for the television camera and for my people. So yeah I guess I say "It's fine, don't worry about it," a lot. It's sort of like my mantra any more.

And it is.. it's fine. Moving up here was the scariest thing I have ever done. I don't think anyone understands how good, at least emotionally I had it at my last job. I was safe. I was with friends, hell those people are my family. It was fun and I had very little to account for. (Although Jo would probably tell you I kept trying to get more to do and probably over worked myself for what I was making, but hey you do that for the things/people you love) But with the love and support of my family and friends I made this jump to the moon and I'm here now trying to make my way. Trying. Most of the time it's going well.

home

So right now I'm trying to play my trip back to Bakersfield for Thanksgiving. Hell, I'm TRYING to go home for Thanksgiving. The way things have been going and the sheer distance involved, I am almost not sure I can. I don't get the day before Thanksgiving off. I basically can not drive at night and it's supposedly six hours to Bako from here, although it took me 10 hours last time I did the drive.

Ben may come with me, which would be cool because then he could drive us down the night before Thanksgiving after I get off work. That'd be great, yeah we'd get into town hella late, but it beats me dragging into town at like Noon on Thanksgiving day. We could stay until Saturday and then swing through SLO for a night if any of my friends are going to be in town (I'm looking at you Teresa!) because he's never been to San Luis Obispo and drive home Sunday morning EARLY. It's gonna depend on his school schedule and his work schedule and if of course he actually decides to come.

If I don't go home, this would be the first holiday in my life I didn't spend with my family. I have no idea what I'd do here. Maybe have an orphans Thanksgiving of my own... I guess I could take the train but I don't even know what that would cost, when it would leave, etc.

I have moved to the damn moon.

Been chatting with some of my people back home at the old stations and maaaaan I miss them. I forgot to mention that when I was home last month, Wild sounds as amazing as ever. I stopped in there twice over the weekend and was shocked at how much I missed it. When I was there on Saturday visiting someone I kept feeling like I should get up and do something. I may have even offered to voice track. It's silly but I felt more at home there at the end than ever did running my own station over across the street. Could've been the people I worked with. Could've been that whole thing where you have to bond when there are like three of you. Could've been working with my best friends. I don't know. I know we were "miserable" there a lot but it was a really special time and place for me and I'll never ever regret it.

Anyway I have radio of my own to make. We're in the middle of planning another huge event and I'm exhausted. Go figure.

goodbye ChocoGato Cat Dog

Close to ten years ago when Jeremy Cross and I were dating and he lived with his band, his awfully stupid, but very sweet cat Nico got pregnant with a litter of the best kitties ever. Among the best of the best were Cheddar Bob and Choco Cat. It's funny because I wanted both of them, even though I already had a cat but a... anyway someone we knew adopted them. But they ended back up with us a couple of years later and had been a part of the family ever since.

Choco Cat was a great cat. He was HUGE like a dog and only meowed like this "me-ow. Me. Ow." unless he was talking to Mama D and then he would say "Mom." You think I'm joking but it's true. He always would climb in my lap when I went home and sleep and drool and purr. Huge baby. Best cat ever.

Unfortunately cats can't talk. No matter how much we think they can, they can't tell us when they're ill and so Choco couldn't tell my dad and Mama D he had a brain tumor. And sadly this afternoon he had to be put to sleep.

I will miss you, you big silly cat. You were a great companion and the biggest sweetie that ever was. You family and your cat family (Cheddar, Azriel and Lily) will miss you tons.

I love you big black dog cat.

all the kitties

Dads cats love their presents from Jennifer

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Epic Day for mail yesterday

In ONE day I got four things sent to me from Earth!

1- My Ghetto House Radio shirt that I'm hella stoked about and will be wearing today.

2-Two packages of books from my gorgeous friend Kristin back in the SLO area. So very needed!

3-A card and STICKERS from my friend Robin who assumed the duties of being me back in Bakersfield at the amazing and rad KRAB radio where I worked for seven years back in the 90's/Early 2000's.

4-A card and letter from the gorgeous and wonderful Nicole M at the Black Sheep. There was some hilarious news inside and of course the card was cute and wonderful.

I love all of my friends and really appreciate them thinking of me and taking the time to send me a little note here and there.

xoxox

Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail

Instead little 30 day meme, I'm just going to show you some pictures of my dad and I. Because my dad rocks the free world.

My dad and I in Anaheim, catching the Red Sox game.

Dad and Mama D, who's my second mom and is amazing. So glad she's part of the family!

Dad and I on Sunday Funday during the NFL play offs one year when the Seahawks went. This is at Marti's in SLO.

Drowning our sorrows at McCarthys in SLO after the Seahawks blew it that year. Oh well...

got my smile got my orange crush

Well in this case Cherry Crush.

I was at the Food For Less yesterday and noticed that there are two liter bottles of Crush on the market. You might remember this soda from the 80's.



When I was a kid, my grandpa used to take me to this place in a town called Pumpkin Center. It was a feed store. Yes a feed store, we had cows, wanna fight about it?

Anyway this feed store was in my little kids mind enormous and had all kinds of weird stuff in it, that I couldn't find a use for. I mean I was six or something. I have no idea why we were at the feed store. I just know my grandpa seemed to know everyone, much like when we'd go to the "junk sale" on Sundays. And at the end of the feed store outing, I'd get to get a soda out of the soda machine that sold glass bottles. Seriously, these things existed in the world.



My favorite was always Cherry Crush, followed by Orange and in extreme emergencies, Grape, but usually if it was left between Grape and Coke, I'd just get the Coke. I'd pop the top on the little bottle opener and then it'd be off to the pick up truck to take whatever contraption or food we'd bought back to my grandparents house, sometimes even listening to 8-track tapes.

I bought a two liter of this Cherry Crush yesterday, and it's really sweet and not in a glass bottle but if I close my eyes really tight and take a sip, I smell hay and I smell home.

the end of an era

The other day I was scrolling through Facebook and Twitter and kept seeing stories pop up about how this place, Woody's Bar and Grill in Bakersfield closed down. You wouldn't think something like that would be news, but for the handful of people on my list that used to work with me back there in Bakersfield, it kind of was.

See the radio stations I worked for, now owned by Clear Channel, are basically on the same lot as Woody's. You could run there in about oh 2 minutes if need be and so we all seemed to spend a lot of time there, either eating or you know, drinking very large glasses of beer. (Not me, I wasn't old enough for most of the time I worked in that building. Being the baby on the staff sucks.) But it was always a place we could have a staff party and everyone, yes even us babies could go and hang out.

I remember quite a few times sitting at the bar with my dad while the Sonics game was on or whatever having a coke and some fries after work.

The other thing that made it kind of neat was during the time I worked nights, myself and whomever was working down the hall on KKXX or KRAB (depending of course which one I was on) could call down and order our dinner. And because radio was different then and everything was on a CD or a cart (it's a big clunky tape) you would actually have to time out when you did things. So the order for the basket of chicken strips and the tereyaki burger would get put in and then when it was done, whoever took our order would call us back and ask us when we could come down and get it.

Whoever had the longest song coming up would then sprint down two flights of stairs and meet some poor server who had to come out to the parking lot and bring us dinner would meet you out back while the other person on the air would run back and forth between the studios making sure both stations were on the air. Good times.

Woody's was also particularly good on weekend night shifts because many many people thought that it was a closed restuarant and that the building we were in was a closed office building. There were always some interesting hi-jinx going down in that parking lot and it gave some very sleepy overnight jocks some strange entertainment over the years.

I don't really think it was the food or even the service that made that place special to everyone who worked in my building. It was just near by and the place you went to talk shop and unwind after a long day of making radio. It was really just an extension of our break room and anyone who's worked in radio knows the stations become your home, the people you work with become your family, so the places you hang out become special.

Strange things you find

So earlier today I was cleaning all the various little slips of paper and crap out of my purse during my break at work and I found a business card I had picked up during my trip home to visit my folks. I had sort of forgotten about it, but it turns out I had a conversation and a drink with a guy that runs a porn website.

Yeah. A porn website, with a name I can't even repeat here!

For the record he was super nice and didn't talk to me about anything other than promotion and radio, but still kind of funny to think I sat at the bar with my dad and some dude that runs a porn website over the holidays.

The thing you should take away from this story is that my life, it's never boring.

i went home for the holidays

Sorry I haven't been posting, I was gone to see some family. So here are some images....

Me and two old school radio friends of mine The Real Bruce Wayne and Joe Brown

The parents

My cat Azriel who not only loves the Boston Red Sox, he also only loves my dad. Which is why he doesn't live with me.

Central Coast wines in the Valley.

My favorite self portrait as of late. This is another of my dad's cats, Cheddarbob who is a love whore and probably an allergists worst nightmare. This is also the blog debut of my new haircut from the lovely Erika at Cost Cutters in SLO.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

random iPhone photo post

As I was going through my phone looking for something today, I realized I have a lot of pictures I haven't shared with you guys yet, so here they come.

Sunset in Avila Beach from a neighbor's deck

4th of July Brunch. Also the day after my 30th birthday party.

A little crab in a net out on the Avila Pier

The table at my 30th birthday.

From one of my favorite places for brunch where I grew up. If you're ever in Bakersfield, Mexicali it up.