No. Just. No.

Are you serious?

News story:

Michael Vick Wants to Own a Dog Again

MICHAEL VICK is legally barred from ever owning a dog again . . . for obvious reasons. But Vick thinks he's ready for a new pet. And he thinks it would actually help him.

--He says, quote, "I would love to get another dog in the future. I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process.

--"I think just to have a pet in my household and to show people that I genuinely care, and my love, and my passion for animals."

--Vick blames his upbringing for not knowing that dogfighting was wrong . . . quote, "When I was younger I got caught up in dog fighting . . . It was something to do.

--"I hate to use our culture as an excuse. It is what it is. I love animals. I love dogs. I love birds. I love all types of animals. But this is just the way I was brought up. Nobody ever told me it was the wrong thing to do."

--Vick says that he works with the Humane Society and goes out on speaking engagements . . . even though the courts don't make him. And he claims he's learned his lesson.

--He says, quote, "Dogfighting is prominent all across the country, and I know it goes on in a lot of different urban areas.

--"A lot of kids have probably seen it happening before. Hopefully, they're not involved in it, and hopefully they take away from what happened in my situation and avoid it at all costs."

(--Should Michael Vick own a dog? I know very few dog lovers would say yes. But the guy did serve his time, after all. Aren't we supposed to be about giving people second chances? Discuss.)

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No really, I'm curious internets, what do you think?

If you've spent five seconds on this blog you know what I think, but... How the eff can this guy go around saying he loves animals but didn't know brutally murdering them was WRONG? No. Fail. Get the eff out. I have ZERO patience for people who hurt animals for fun. None. It's just flat out wrong.

I was talking with someone the other day that was actually MORE disgusted about Brett Farve and his sexting and apparently small package. Is what Brett Farve did wrong? Sure. But guess what, I'm way more willing to forgive a little sexting than I am an animal murderer.

People often mistake animals as lesser beings. That they don't feel. That they don't have little personalities and memories and love just as much as human beings do. They're wrong. Animals love fiercely, loyally and most of all unconditionally. They put their blind faith in their human companions. And this is why we should protect them. They give us love, companionship, laughter, some help us walk/see/take our medication/call 911 if we pass out, some help kids learn to read, some help people with social anxiety, some comfort the dying... Animals work for us, care for us and trust us. We should protect them and we should see people that hurt them as absolute villains, as we should see any one who preys on anyone that is helpless and or unable to protect themselves.

I can not point to and re-post this article in Sports Illustrated enough. Look at what Michael Vick's dogs did after they were rescued. These are dogs he would have had shot, electrocuted, drowned, mauled, had beaten to death or tied to a tree to die in the woods because he "didn't know" it was wrong.

So no, I don't think Michael Vick should even be allowed to own a goldfish again, much less a dog or a cat or well anything. I'm not even cool with his return to football and the fact that everyone is so ready to stand up and act like he's some kind of a hero because he served his jail time and now can run faster, jump higher and play harder than before.

Michael Vick is still a dog murdering a-hole, I don't care how many yards he...

My friend Nina over at the Slack Daily wrote a very impassioned wonderful blog about why she is anti-Michael Vick. And I agree with her 100%.

Let me break it down for you. Michael Vick participated in illegal dog fighting. He also participated in the torture and murder of hundreds of innocent dogs. This makes me sick. I can not stand people who could hurt an animal or a child. They are helpless beings and they look to us to protect them, not to cause them harm and fear.

(And no, I'm not comparing your children to dogs, but basically they're both innocent and to a point helpless against attacks)

All day long people were talking about Michael Vick's great effin' Monday night game and talking about him like he was the second coming of whatever and all I could think was, yeah but those same arms that were throwing touchdowns last night helped murder animals for well... no good reason at all. Out of what? Ignorance? Boredom? A gambling problem? But it all seems forgotten to a lot of people because he's so "good" at his game. He's an okay guy now, right?

Just like I'll shake my head at all the new endorsement deals that will probably come out of this and all the new products I'm going to NOT be purchasing because the company who makes them thinks that this is an alright dude, this is someone they support, someone they want to make rich, to make a hero.

The real heroes in the Michael Vick story are the countless people and shelters that found homes for his abused dogs and gave them as much of a normal life as those dogs could have after living in the conditions they did. You want to read something that will break your heart and make you have hope? Read this article that Sports Illustrated did a couple of years ago about his dogs. I dare you not to be choked up after that.

I realize that there is a large segment of the population that thinks he paid his dues and should be able to do his thing now and we can all just forget about it. But I'm not one of them. The level of cruelty shown to these dogs can't be "reformed" out of you by sitting in prison for a couple of years. That's crap.

So I'm just gonna keep ignoring the Eagles like I do and hope they don't get into the Super Bowl because I don't want to avoid the big game all together because this bag of dicks is playing in it. But I would.