spirit day (or why I'm wearing purple today)

Today is now called Spirit Day

It's a day to show support for LGBT kids who are bullied and to try to call attention to the "recent rash" of suicides among young children/teens because they are being bullied for either being gay or being perceived to be gay.

I support the idea of calling attention to this. It is disgusting. It is horrible that kids are this mean to each other. I wonder where all these people who are so "concerned" now were before, because bullying isn't new. It isn't a fad.

As someone who was relentlessly picked on by the "popular" kids from about 5th grade until either my Senior year or graduation, I wonder where these people were when I didn't want to go to school (and some times just didn't) because I was sick of people picking on me. I was basically told by several people that if I would be more "normal," the "popular" kids would accept me and life would be grand. But I didn't want them to accept me, I thought they were total shit heads. I just wanted them to leave me the hell alone. Yeah, I was shorter than almost everyone. So I didn't ask to be short. And yeah I didn't have the "right" clothes because what freakin 5th grader needs designer jeans? Or 150 dollar shoes? Or why does it matter if I don't like the same things as you? But what went on with me was "just" kids being kids.

I like to think this awareness campaign is a lot of people my age, who got sick of being told to "be normal" and "just ignore it, it will go away," realizing that hey, we're the grown ups now, we get to make the rules and some other child or teen will not have to go through this on our watch. I look around at the celebrities coming out against this, Lady Gaga, Eve, Adam Lambert, Sarah Silverman, Ke$ha, etc and I realize that age wise these people are my peer group. We are the grown ups now. We're the adults. We get to "make the rules," and set the pace and we've decided this is NOT OKAY.

The other reason I am so fired up about this is I hate the stigma of being a "suicide survivor." I lost a very good friend and a huge part of my heart to suicide a couple of years ago and you know what is the worst? When people look at you like you're a freak because of that, or when people just won't let you talk about it, because yeah it's uncomfortable. If it's uncomfortable for you to hear about, how do you think someone who lost someone that way feels? How do you think it feels? I know people don't always know the right things to say but sometimes you just have to listen. There is no shame in knowing someone who chose to take their own life. It isn't your fault and you have every right to be angry, to be hurt, to be sad.

And I want any one to know that if they are considering something so drastic as to end their own lives, wait. Listen, I don't even know you and I love you. I will listen to you. I will hug you and take you for coffee/ice cream/lemonade and I will listen to you. If it isn't me, I promise you there is someone out there who will. Take a deep breath my tiny darlings and realize that the whole world is out there for you. I am living breathing proof that the bullying stops, it gets better. And the people picking on you? They may even apologize to you later in life. It's happened to me. Stand up, stand proud and realize that you are so freakin' amazing just the way you are, and that when you get older, people are going to fall all over themselves to know you. We "freaks" know this about each other. We stick together.

It's hard and it sucks to be a teenager. But when it's over and you survive it all, guess what? You get to lead your life the way you want. You get to make the rules.

Even now, YOU define who you are. Seriously mother eff any one who tells you that's wrong. You are more than ONE thing. You are not just gay, bisexual, lesbian, trans-gendered, short, black, white, Asian, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Muslim, Christian, Jewish, etc. You are artists, you are scientists waiting to happen, you are musicians, you are soon to be famous actors and directors, you are writers, you are future cops, firefighters, politicians. You are what's next. I am standing up for you now, because I need someone to run the world when I'm done. You're what is next, just hang in there. Just make it. Just know that this world is YOURS next and we need you and we love you.

the sad ballad of Stephanie's iPhone

It's the damnedest thing. I love my iPhone. I take care of it, like it's some kind of baby or something. My iPhone is at my side constantly and I have never done wrong by this phone. Usually my phone does pretty swell by me as well.

Until I moved an hour and a half from the nearest Apple store. And my home button (basically the button that makes the phone freakin' work) went out.

I have to mail the phone out today to get repaired. Or replaced. Either way, I'll be without my iPhone for about a week. I'm sad. I'm cranky. I'm also without my camera basically as a result.

Did I mention that I'm REALLY tired of sleeping on the floor? What does that have to do with my iPhone? Nothing. I'm just generally cranky. And have a sore neck/back/etc. Sue me.

Stephanie vs Panda Express

Dear Panda Express,

Look I'm a big fan of yours. I love the Mandarin sauce and I love your veggie spring rolls... I love that you have Dr Pepper at the fountain and I even love your little Panda logo. Pandas are cute, what's not to love about Panda bears?

What I don't love is this; going to one of your establishments and getting basically discriminated against because I'm a vegetarian. Don't get me wrong Panda, I get that the majority of the public isn't and majority rules in most businesses. And I do appreciate the few times when you do have a vegetarian entree, although Eggplant Tofu isn't my favorite, I like it when you think of me.

No Panda, I have a very specific example of being treated badly at one of your locations as a result of what I ordered. See I walked into the Panda on Mangrove here in gorgeous Chico yesterday with the plan of ordering my usual, sitting down and having a nice lunch, you know not at my desk in the office for once, but out and about with other people! Shocking, I know. I go to the counter and I wait (and wait and wait, the lady in front of me was ordering the whole store) and order my side of rice and my side of mixed vegetables. I order this, in this manner because this Panda location didn't even have the Eggplant Tofu I don't even like that much.

Now I've come to expect at this time for one of two things to happen, either whoever dishes out my food will argue with me that I am ordering a Panda Bowl, what do I want for my entree? And when I explain I don't want meat, I want the small order of rice and the small order of vegetables, they will go ahead and charge me for the Panda Bowl. Or whoever is working will GET IT and dish it out on a plate and charge me exactly what the menu says a side of this and a side of that will cost. The latter was always my experience with the stellar Panda Express back in San Luis Obispo, who were the helpful people who told me that ordering a Panda Bowl without an entree is a total rip off.

But yesterday? Oh no yesterday I couldn't even get ripped off for a Panda Bowl. Yesterday when I placed my order, the girl behind the counter pulled out two to go boxes (the little foldy take out kind) and when I told her, that I would rather have a plate or even a bowl because I had planned to eat in, I got this snotty face made at me and was told since I had ONLY ordered these menu items this was the way they were packaged and that I COULD NOT have a plate/bowl/styrofoam box which would enable me to eat inside the restaurant. And I might have taken that and just shrugged it off, except that I watched this same girl make SEVERAL side PLATES of MEAT for the lady in front of me. This woman also got sampled a taste of EVERYTHING on the buffet and was generally treated much better than I was.

Before anyone points out that I was ordering "cheap," I wasn't. I was ordering what was on the menu that I was able to eat. At the end of the line, I still forked out close to six bucks to be treated badly and basically discriminated against because I wasn't ordering any meat products. I mean what other reason could there be, if the other woman also ordering sides was able to get a plate or two out of the girls behind the counter.

On top of all that I had to wait over 10 minutes for my vegetables that I wasn't going to be able to eat in the restaurant. And the Dr Pepper was out of order. Which are petty gripes in comparison with basically being told that what I was ordering wasn't worth giving me a plate and a place to sit. And this can't be company policy or even Chico policy because I've gone to the other Panda in town and they gave me a plate. Sure they charged me for the Panda Bowl, but they at least treated me with respect.

In short, I will NEVER step foot in the Mangrove location of Panda Express again and it might be a very long time before I patronize the other one in town as well.

-Stephanie


*edited to add* Oh good an auto response:

Greetings STEPHANIE,

Thank you for your comments and suggestions. A Panda Guest Relations Representative will be responding to your e-mail within the next 72 hours. If you would like to speak to someone during our business hours, you may contact us at 800-877-8988.

Monday - Friday -- 8:00 am to 7:00 pm (Pacific time)
Saturday -- 9:00 am to 5:30 pm (Pacific time)

You may receive an automated email survey asking for feedback on your experience with Guest Relations.

Panda Restaurant Group, Inc.
P.O. Box 1159
Rosemead, CA 91770

M.I.A. Born Free

First of all, before I say another word, if you click on the video below, please know it's not safe for work. It's violent, it has nudity and loads of profanity. If you click on it, I'm assuming you're 18 and you are okay with all of the following things, and really you're not going to send me a nasty email or tattle on me to the radio station or any of that. Are we cool? Because I'm dying to talk to someone about this thing.

M.I.A just put this out. Youtube banned it. Her record company Universal has a deal with Youtube and didn't throw their weight behind her. M.I.A went to Pitchfork and they let her use their twitter account to go crazy about it.

She should go crazy about it.

Yes this video is offensive. Duh, Middle America, it's supposed to be. The rounding up and execution of any segment of humanity is pretty freakin' offensive and yet it still happens. This isn't some future warning. This isn't a parable about the past, this is still happening in countries everywhere.

To a degree, it happens here. Look around, people are being denied rights because some dude somewhere decided they aren't worthy of them because of the color of their skin, the people they love, etc. So M.I.A's video show's this "ridiculous" vision of people with Red Hair being demonized. I'm sorry, but I don't see that as being very far off from anything that's currently happening in the world right now.

Judging anyone because their DIFFERENT than you is just, well stupid, like banning this video, which I completely believe is art. Good on M.I.A.

On that note, I'd like to hear the original version of the song, because I know it's not 10 minutes long.



EXPLICIT: M.I.A. - Born Free
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - See the latest featured music videos.

Who Dat Nation!

Yeah, I blog a lot about the Seattle Seahawks, who are my team of choice. But in my family we also keep the Saints as our back up team. I mean hello, one of the guys playing for them has the same name as my dad. I have a lot of other personal reasons for giving the Saints mad love and respect. Drew Brees is a class act all the way around and I can't think of a quarterback I would have liked to see in a superbowl as much as my own, that isn't him. Also I'm just a little in love with Scott Fujita, politically. Seriously, he's almost the perfect man.

But there is more to it than all that.

When Hurricane Katrina happened I was home visiting my folks and I remember watching the storm start and my heart just sinking. It looked so flipping awful and I do have a handful of friends back there. I spent the next few weeks watching that city get first destroyed and then get redestroyed by shoddy relief efforts. I cried watching these images on television of Americans suffering in their own country and watching the people who were supposed to protect them, ignore them. I mean really, four days to get relief down there? Stupid. Short sighted. Wrong. Those are the gentlest words I can use.

About two years ago I saw the show No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain and he did a New Orleans episode and even still things down there aren't fixed completely. And it stirred up the same anger and sadness in me that watching the initial hurricane did.

It seems silly, especially if you don't follow sports how much the Saints mean to these people, especially this year. But it means everything to a lot of them. A good friend of mine is a huge Saints fan and he has family in Louisiana and is still angry, obviously, about how Katrina was handled. Yesterday was probably one of the happiest days he's had in a long time. He was on the phone with his family off and on through the game and it was pretty touching. Hell, I remember watching them reopen the Superdome a few years ago and just bawling, because the people there were so excited to have it back.

We partied. We had a blast. We cheered for the Saints. I cheered for an entire city of people who got hosed by Mother Nature a few years ago. I thought of you Louisiana. I thought of the people there.

And yeah, we drank a lot of beer too. There was that.