Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail

My favorite memories all seem to revolve around times I spent with the lovely and talented Jen Wa the Destroyer out on the road. They seem to involve a lot of booze consumption, rowdy boys, sweaty concert halls and absurd conversations that you only have on a very boring stretch of road. Or staying in hilarious hotels in stupid cities.

Some excerpts from the past:


* Jun. 7th, 2005 at 6:57 PM

So I had an okay time at the show last night. Best part of the night was standing in line for the disgusting bathroom at SLO Brew and realizing I was standing by the singer from Lit. I looked over at him and we had a nearly hysterical conversation.

Me: You're in Lit!
Him: Yes I am
Me: I once drank a bunch of jagger with you and fell off your bus.
Him: Oh youre from Bakersfield then!

It's very involved being me.

Jun. 10th, 2005

* 7:42 AM

the interesting thing about being Stephanie is that there is a punk band asleep in various parts of my house.

and i just walked in the door myself and hit their merch guy with the door. i think when i leave for work i should offer him my room to sleep in since ya know i'll be at work


* Jun. 13th, 2005 at 10:10 AM

There's nothing quite like seeing an entire rock band and their road crew clattering up your stairs and getting ready to go swimming. I went back to work and came home to find we were going to the beach. We filled up the cooler with ice and various bar essentials and then stopped for more beer and champange. It was like TIME FOR A FIELD TRIP. We all climbed in the tour van and drove out to the beach that Jen and I go to. We spread out a bunch of blankets and the boys decided we needed a camp fire. So they dug a hole and started looking for drift wood and fire starters. It was cute, them all being tattooed and crazy looking doing manly things like building fires. A baby seal wandered up on to the beach around that time and almost got close enough to Jen and I for us to touch it. The boys were beside themselves with excitement. We found a boogie board. A got the fire going and we passed around the champagne and toasted to the beautiful California sky.

On the way back in the van, A drinks in the backseat and we sang along to Gwen Stefani. We went to the store for the 43908540398th time that day to get more ice and booze and A got us stuff for breakfast. The plan was for all of us to get SMASHED at our house and hang out. It started out that way. I was sitting on the balcony smoking talking to Shep and Throat (the Merch guy and the tour manager) and then the neighbors started yelling again. So we went back in the house.

* Aug. 17th, 2005 at 10:30 AM

D and R had decided to sleep in the van and so it was just me, Jen, D2, A, White K and Black K in the hotel room. We found out our seals had been the talk of the June tour. We're basically famous.

At one point they were all so trashed that D2 said "You know whats cool." and Everyone looked at him and basically the answer was . or nothing, I forget which, but we were all laughing so hard we were crying and K threw up he was laughing so hard. After awhile of laughing until we cried the boys were getting sleepy. And even though there were four of them staying in a tiny ass room, they offered to let us crash there too but we told them we had our own. So it was hugs all around for our boys and then we drove home and got food and crashed.

----

Ahh yes, those were very good times, and a very long time ago.

photo dump 8.30.10

So Happy it's Happy Hour

Just dyed my hair

Asleep at the wheel at Fox

Chronic Tacos

Butte County fair

House of Rice

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Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail

I want to say I was in 7th grade. I went to Magic Mountain with my friend Ross K for his birthday. It was me, another girl, who I think was named Ginger but I'm not sure and this guy I was "going out" with Richard N.

Going out in 7th grade is a dumb concept by the way. I think this particular paring came up from the fact that Ross and Richard were neighbors or knew each other some how. Either way I mentioned that Richard was cute or something and the next thing I knew he was my boyfriend. Stupid.

So we all go to Magic Moutain. Ross's dad drives us and lets us do our thing while he goes off and naps or reads or whatever. Not a lot of trouble to get into inside of a theme park. Eventually Ross and Ginger go off somewhere and I beg Richard to ride the Jet Stream with me, because I was hot and this ride had water and a shorter line the rest.



If you've never ridden this thing it requires you to sit pretty much on your friends. So I sat in front of Richard and we went on down the "river" and there's this tunnel on the ride. I remember him tapping me on the shoulder during this point and I turned around and bam, first kiss. On a carnival ride. Super cheesy.

I think he and I "went out" for another month or so after that and then we broke up as is the fashion in junior high.

A few years ago someone started trying to plan our high school reunion and I started looking up old friends and found him online. He was selling houses and we said hello and giggled about our stupid shared past.

Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail

(Making up for yesterday, you'll get two of these today)

I dream about work, ALOT. Dead air. Messing up breaks. Forgetting to go in. Doing a show on a station I haven't worked on in years. Walking into a station and being thrown on the air without my headphones (that's happened in real life, how the eff do you think I got on Wild in the first place?)

I dream about the people I've worked with a lot. That's about it.

I still dream about Chris.

Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail

This meme never asks me this question when I'm wearing anything remotely interesting.

I'm wearing a shirt from my old haunt in San Luis Obispo called Mc Carthy's Irish Pub. You can see one of my favorite bartenders modeling it below.

Brad on the right is wearing the shirt I have on now.

On the front it says "1019 Court St 1952-2007" and the back says "McCarthy's Irish Pub San Luis Obispo CA "it is a long road that has no turning."

I'm also wearing my skanky jean shorts, black flip flops and my hair in a pony tail because it's hot.

Day 13 – This week, in great detail

Has been busy. And will continue to be busy. The freakin' end, as I have to go to work.

my food blog

My food blog is back if that's something that makes you dance the happy

http://feedmebitch.blogspot.com

I write down recipes of the food I make. I also review food I eat and kinda blab on and on about my lifestyle/eating choices. I started it two years ago when I was unemployed as a way to keep me off the streets but I've been doing so much experimenting with new places to eat etc lately, that I wanted to share.

Day 12 – What's in your bag, in great detail

A picture first to get things started. In the background is the bag I am carrying today, which as you can see is a Hello Kitty bowling bag.


Contents:

-Red Pleather wallet from Express in San Luis Obispo. Inside that, ID and credit card

-Chococat business card holder

-Matt Martino from Landshark Promotion's bussiness card

-1 Key ring with my jump drive and padlock keys on them. Key chain says I Live a Rockstar's Life in my mind.

-1 package of face blotter tissue from the Body Shop.

-1 stray mint from dinner at the Italian Cottage

-1 book of matches

-my eye shadow pallet is what that leopard print box is. Got that at Forever 21.

-1 tube of soft lips chapstick (vanilla mint)

-1 Liberty Cab business card

-my work lanyard/business card/ID

-1 box of Hint of Mints

-1 Hello Kitty pen

-1 orange mini sharpie

-1 stick of black eyeliner

-compact mirror/powder case

-1 bottle of Trader Joes asprin

-1.25 in change

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Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail

I have two sisters. Each one of them is amazing.

First of all there's my sister Tiffany who is 22 and a recent Cal Poly Grad.


Tiffany is crazy smart, determined, funny as all hell and creative. She loves zombie movies, pop-punk, video games and animals. She's a good person and I'd want to be friends with her even if we weren't related, which most people can't believe that we are, because she is so together and I'm such a scattered idiot most of the time. I'm insanely proud of her and want to show her off to everyone.


Lindsay there in the middle is my "step sister," which is such an absurd term but whatever. She's about to turn 21 and just moved to San Diego to work at Paul Mitchell after graduating beauty school. We are all insanely proud of her! Lindsay is creative and funny and sees the beauty in everything. She loves Disney princesses, concerts, Dr Pepper and cupcakes. She's also very sweet and more shy than you would think, but really that just makes her prettier.

Both my girls are amazing, independent and on their way to big things. I couldn't be more proud of either one of them.

Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail

Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail

Easy-

Grey V-Neck t-shirt from Ambercombie and Fitch

Cut off jean shorts

various friendship bracelets

Hello Kitty undies

Black Flip Flops.

Next

Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detal

Animals are friends not food.

Love is love is love is love.. You get the idea.

Trust is more important than anything.

Loyalty is important.

Music is everything.

Art makes life less ugly.

Kisses fix everything.

I don't want to be in charge all the time.

Be the best you can. Better than you thought you could.

Creative people blow my mind.

Live and let live, unless you hurt someone I love. Then prepare to experience pain of some sort.

Day 08 – A moment, in great detail

I'm really behind on this. Sorry.


Day 08 – A moment, in great detail

It must have been the first time I decided I didn't care who saw or what they thought about what they saw, because what they saw was nothing. They saw two people who spend a great deal of time together being comfortable around each other. You were leaned over my shoulder, pointing at something on a screen and I don't know, I leaned my head back to say something to you and realized I was sort of leaning on you and hadn't noticed.

You looked at me. I looked up at you. One of us said something to break the weirdness of it.

Snap. Crackle. Pop. There it was.

Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail

Again little meme, I'm gonna bend the rules and change this up a bit. I have a few best friends so picking one isn't fair. So I will write about instead my best friend that I have known the longest... My friend Megan, who ironically enough is coming to town to hang out with me tonight.

I met Megan in grade school. We were kinda opposites even then. She wore ribbons in her hair and I think they sometimes had to tie me down to get a dress on me when I was younger. At any rate I don't remember dressing nearly as cute as she did.

Megan and I on my 10th birthday.

We were friends all through elementary school and then her mom dragged her off to Nevada for awhile in Jr. High. I was so bummed and we used to write letters back and forth. When we started hanging out again in high school I was so glad. Megan is the best kind of girlfriend, up for anything, tougher than she looks, sillier than she'll tell you and kinder than anyone on the face of the Earth. We were together so much I'm pretty sure 50% of the school thought we were dating. Oh well.

Megan and I on Halloween our Senior year.

At the prom. We had dates too but eff them. Or mine at least. My date to this can definitely suck it.

We had many adventures together over the years. Most of which the statute of limitations hasn't run out on yet, so I can't write about them... ;) Something about auto theft or something and maybe a fist fight on someone's yard... Uhh I mean I'm kidding, all we ever did was bake cookies and go to the movies and shop!

Then we became grown ups somewhere down the road and Megan met the best guy in the world when she met this guy Grant.

Grant is a bad ass, all the way around.

Grant is Megan's perfect other half. How do I know this? I love Grant. We get a long very well and he's very understanding of Megan's shopping habits and of course of her having me as a friend. I'm a lot of hard work. No seriously Grant's rad and he just really made me and Megan's friendship that more rad.

Rides of March 2009

Making an honest woman out of my bff!

I am so not skinny here.

My beautiful, most long timest best friend Megan is asleep in my living room now. We had quite the time last night and they may stay one more night. I love her more than words could ever say. She's family at this point. She's my sister. She is my heart and some day we'll be at the old BFF's home talking about this one time we stole a car.

Except we won't cos that TOTES DIDN'T HAPPEN ;-)

Chico, CA 2010. I mean who the eff else would come see me on the Moon?

Day 06 – Your day, in great detail

My day isn't over yet, but I have an idea what I'm going to do.

5:30am- Get up, shower, get dressed for work. Feed the cat.

6:30am- Leave for work. Go to Wendys and get a breakfast sandwhich. They are the only people open at this hour that have anything vegetarian.

7:00am- Clock in. Work.

10:00am- drink a cup of coffee. I don't normally do this but I almost fell asleep on my desk.

11:30am- Leave for lunch. Go to my apartment, eat pizza left over from last night. Go back to work.

12:15pm- send Meatwad out to do Busted on the Job

1:00pm- Do some work

1:30pm- Go to a meeting.

2:00pm- Unload a van full of Pepsi

3:30pm- Eat a fish taco. Marry another fish taco on V's show.

4:15pm- Leave to come home and get my bed delivered. Nearly kill self trying to move futon again.

5:10pm Bed is here and installed. I leave to get beer to reward whomever I con into dragging the futon carcass downstairs for me.

5:30pm make bed. straighten up house. Drink a cold beer and listen to music.

The rest of the night? Getting rid of one of the two futon mattresses I was sleeping on and then probably meeting my friend Sarah for a drink at the Maltese. I also imagine I'll shower at some point. And then delicious sleep in my new bed.

dumb stuff you don't think about

The thing about moving is you don't even think about some things that you're going to need when you first turn up at your new place. Like paper towels or dish soap or I don't know a freakin' towel.

I went through all of that my first night in my place. I had to go to Target right after work just to be able to shower before I hit the train and went back to SLO to get my stuff. But now even with my stuff here, on an almost daily basis I realize I need something I don't have. Like when I needed a broom and couldn't find one. Or like last night when I realized I really really need to vacuum my floors but I haven't owned my own vacuum in years. Bummer. I was ranting and raving about it to a friend online late last night, because that's the normal time to realize you have a delivery team coming in the next day and the floor hasn't been vacuumed since you moved in.

I also really need a mop. Go figure that I didn't pack a mop. Or that I forgot my step stool and have to keep a folding chair in my kitchen so I can reach stuff. Or that I forgot that I threw out all of my book cases when I moved into my last place and now have zero shelving.

Its kind of funny though, when you're a kid, no one ever says "Man you know what I want? A really nice vacuum cleaner." Except now I do, and it doesn't even have to be NICE. Just something that sucks dirt off the ground. Ehhh maybe I'll have a look at Craigslist...

Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail

Well first of all... love comes in many flavors as it were. I mean there is the love for your family. The love of your friends.

I don't know meme, you're asking the wrong girl if you want to know about romantic love, or relationship style love. I don't have a damn clue, I think this much is obvious.

I don't know if I believe in that happily ever after that the movies puts out there that is supposed to be love. I don't know.

Love is being able to look at someone and know everything about them and not hate them for any of it. Love is wanting to know that much about someone that well in the first place.

My ideal, someone who will always challenge me to learn more, be better, try harder and support me while I do. Someone who will always make me laugh and always cares what I have to say. Someone I want to do all of these things for. That seems like a good kind of love.

Bikeless in Chico...

This dude deserves some help. Spread the word and keep an eye out.

Epic Day for mail yesterday

In ONE day I got four things sent to me from Earth!

1- My Ghetto House Radio shirt that I'm hella stoked about and will be wearing today.

2-Two packages of books from my gorgeous friend Kristin back in the SLO area. So very needed!

3-A card and STICKERS from my friend Robin who assumed the duties of being me back in Bakersfield at the amazing and rad KRAB radio where I worked for seven years back in the 90's/Early 2000's.

4-A card and letter from the gorgeous and wonderful Nicole M at the Black Sheep. There was some hilarious news inside and of course the card was cute and wonderful.

I love all of my friends and really appreciate them thinking of me and taking the time to send me a little note here and there.

xoxox

day 04 describe what you ate today in great detail

Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail

Breakfast: crap breakfast sand which from Wendys. Coke. Otter pop

Lunch: 1/4 of a veggie burrito. black bean/rice blah blah blah. water

Hot tea in there somewhere. Otter pop.

Dinner: Tonight will be shrimp linguine. I anticipate some sort of alcohol being consumed in here somewhere, since it's Foodie Bourdain night.

• Music:Train- Hey Soul Sister

state of the Chico address

So since moving to the Planet Chico I've acquired some bitchin' free cable. I seriously have every channel out there. And internet. And a phone. Rad. Oh and I get paid to have it. Not too shabby if you ask me. Then I acquired a gym membership to what I am told is the best gym in town. Stoked, I just need to go in and sign up and turn in my certificates. Then I can start working out again (yay!) and continue to be the incredible shrinking Stephanie. Seriously I look NOTHING like I did a year ago. It's awesome.

Now I've just left a meeting where I'm getting a new bed. This is my first BRAND NEW BED that I didn't buy off of some one or have purchased for me by a parent or whatever. My very first grown up bed! LOL. No really though, I get to go to the store and pick out the bed of my dreams. I am more than excited about it.

And grateful. Seriously I was so scared to move up here and there are still days when I'm laying on the Craigslist futon and wonder if I can get up and do this again another day, or if it's ever going to stop being NEW and confusing and mildly scary, but at least once a week something cool surprises me and I feel... almost at home I guess.

My heart is still in San Luis Obispo, that's for sure. I mean I miss everyone and everything thing there constantly. Like there are still days I'd give anything to go walk into the Black Sheep with Teresa and drink a red drink and bitch about our jobs and boys with Nicole. Or to walk out to Pete's Pierside and eat an incredible fish taco and see my friends Trent and Lora and laugh and drink beers. And don't even get me started on how much I miss my Mr Rick's family or the incredibly bad ass staff over at Wild 106.1 because even as crappy as some stuff was (or silly or flat out inappropriate in the best way, really) my time there was, it's all in my heart and I am better for my time in "radio hell" (Or did I used to call it the 7th Level of Radio Hell. Or Where Radio Goes to Die, I can't remember, but I was WRONG on all counts.)

But I'm definitely finding my feet here. Making friends. Realizing my jocks are total bad asses. Finding places I like to go. Getting my grown up house together. Laying at my pool and reading lots of books and doing whatever the hell I feel like when I want to, because I can.

Like for instance the other day I looked up how far it is to go to Seattle. Did you know that I can drive to Seattle, Washington in 11 hours? It takes 8 hours to get to SLO for reference. I'm thinking about getting a couple of friends and making a road trip up there. I haven't been since I was a little kid and I'd love to see it again. And not be the only Seahawks fan for 1000000s of miles.

Later this week, Megan and Grant will be here. My first overnight guests since I moved to Planet Chico. I'm pretty excited to see them because duh, Megan is my BFF and I adore Grant. But it will be neat to show someone around my new town and introduce them to friends I've made here.

I remember the week or so before I left SLO, sitting in my boss Jojo's office and just bawling constantly thinking I was never going to make any friends and how I was just going to come up here and fall on my face. He always told me I was wrong. That brat, he just always has to be right...

It's okay to be jelizzzzz

My new favorite shirt




Ghetto House Radio is amazing. If you haven't checked it out yet, you're doing something wrong.

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photo dump again...

Stained glass at the Hotel Diamond.

They love Z-Rock at Chronic Tacos.

My friend Ben and I at LaSalles downtown. Quickly becoming one of my other haunts... probably because my friend Jeremy works there.

Eatin' Mexican food, reppin' the 805

Apparently the 530 tho, is filthy.

A frog I rescued out of my pool. I know it's hot homie, but there are chemicals in there.

it's still your birthday

A long time ago, a boy played this song for me and said this is how I think of you. Today would have been his birthday....



Happy 32nd Birthday Christopher. We all miss you.

"Totally" - Screeching Weasel

Totally cool that your hair is blue
I totally drool when I think about you
Totally neat totally sweet
Totally knocked me off my feet
Totally rad but it's too bad
You're not aware of all my plans
I totally lust when I see you around
The Belmont bus takes me right by your house
Totally neat totally sweet
Totally knocked me off my feet
Totally lame that you won't say
You'll hang out with me every day
I totally love everything about you

Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail

Instead little 30 day meme, I'm just going to show you some pictures of my dad and I. Because my dad rocks the free world.

My dad and I in Anaheim, catching the Red Sox game.

Dad and Mama D, who's my second mom and is amazing. So glad she's part of the family!

Dad and I on Sunday Funday during the NFL play offs one year when the Seahawks went. This is at Marti's in SLO.

Drowning our sorrows at McCarthys in SLO after the Seahawks blew it that year. Oh well...

Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail

This is easy.

My first love was Christopher Michael Page. He's dead now. He killed himself two years ago and tomorrow would've been his 32nd birthday.

Pause...

I met Chris when I was 14. Fourteen. I turned fifteen about two weeks after started dating. Chris was one of those magic people that like... change everything. He had so much inside of him, so much art and poetry and creativity and laughter. I can still hear his laugh like... wow.

It was really innocent, the way we loved each other. Innocent and fast. One day we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, we did the whole holding hands and kissing and giggling. One day we were just having four hour phone calls every night and one night I remember him finally telling me he loved me and I didn't even know I had wanted to hear those words from this wonderful boy who made me mix tapes, drove a funky little car and never took anything seriously. But I did and it was awesome.

We were suburban innocent teens. We were cooler than the room at all times. We were a people of our own language. And we were happy. Incredibly happy and in this first rush of love that lasted almost the entire time we were together.

And then we weren't together. Stupid high school stuff. We might have even gotten back together if I had tried. But we slipped easily into the friends mode, a place we stayed for the rest of his life. When shit broke, I ran to him, just like that. And he was always ready to listen. To take me for a slice of pie at Lyons. To meet me for a drink at the Padre. To be my Christmas at the Mint pseudo date... Chris always kept a piece of my heart, he took some of it with him when he left.

The last time I saw him was at the Mint over a Christmas. Maybe even Christmas Eve. I can't remember. I remember being embarrassed a little bit because we were all so ridiculously drunk and he and I ended up kissing in this really silly drunk sloppy way out on the back patio. OH EM GEE, how could I? And in hindsight I'm glad I did. And now in light of things, I'm glad I told him I loved him and held that last hug a little longer than is normal with old friends. I can still remember what he smelled like, the way it sounded when he laughed and how that hug felt.

This boy has gone from the world for two years now... his number is still in my cell phone.

I miss him every single day. But I couldn't have asked for a better first love if I'd gone to some movie script writer and said make me a rom/com.

So there you go.

30 days meme

So there is this meme going around the internets where you blog on certain subjects for 30 days. I have decided to do this! Shocking, I know.

I'll actually be posting two days of it at once right now though, since I started it yesterday and just didn't post it.

I'm Stephanie. I'm 31. I just moved to Chico, CA for a job

I like music (who doesn't) playing radio, kissing boys, eating sushi and laying in the sun on a nice day and getting a tan. I will probably die of skin cancer by the time I am 50 and I simply do not give a crap about it. Not giving a crap is one of my other hobbies, by the way.

I like mystery. I like getting inside peoples minds. Sometimes great conversation is better than anything. I like fashion and other shallow, vain things. I fell in love with pop music. I love a good mix DJ. I love people who create something out of nothing, in fact it's about the sexiest thing there is. I love people who LOVE. I love people with gorgeous beautiful minds. I know a few, you know?

I love my iphone. I love pictures.

I have this cat Lily Monster Boo Face Kitty Meow who is the raddest thing in the world. Seriously, she's so gangsta, it's ridiculous.

I'm a total Daddy's girl. Sue me. My two sisters are the coolest women on Earth and put me to shame with their powers of awesome.

My friends... man I have a collection of flame throwingly awesome friends. They're even more badass than a robot dinosaur pirate ninja zombie. No joke. They rock the free world.

I love fancy things.

I am a dork. Sci Fi dork. Radio dork. Seattle Seahawks fan dork. I can explain the rules of baseball. I like martinis. I like dying my hair. My favorite book in the free world is Francesca Lia Block's "Wasteland." I read it probably once a month, no joke.

My headphones are my babies. Radio is my life. I hate wearing shoes.

This entry is lame, but I'll get to the good questions in good time I guess.

look at this sweet ride

I mean would you look at this bitch? I honestly thought I was going to hate it, but I love the damn thing.

The day it came back from the shop was kind of a crap day for me at work. I was just having a really bad day and then Bryan came in and told me it was back. You have to understand I've been here about two months and this is the first time I've ever seen it. I felt positively giddy! Stupid, right? It's a radio station vehicle...

But damn, this thing is pretty special. Meatwad and I took it for a spin around the area and I just kept saying "This is so f#@king cool" over and over and hanging my head out the window, like a big dork.

It was one of those moments that's made this move worth it. The little cool things that pop up unexpectedly. Be it this beautiful bitch of a car or the many friends I've made in a short time or the fact that the a couple of the guys at Rawbar remember what I like to eat when I go in there or that the bartenders at Johnnie's know me by name, not because I go there a lot but because when I do, I sit and visit with them. Or you know finding out my air staff are a bunch of cool ass people and that my promotions director rocks the free world... It's just little stuff that makes me pause and go "Yeah, it's hard as hell, but I know I did the right thing."

Another installment of music I like that makes no sense....

Looked up Bat for Lashes on the suggestion of the world renown artist Jeremy Cross a few years ago. I love love love this song.

Another one of those things that's probably uncool for me to like because maybe it's hella hipster or whatever, but I love this particular Pretty Girls Make Graves song quite a bit.

Today was the first time I've ever heard of The Hundred in the Hands, and I wouldn't have without my good friend DJ Nick V the Violator. Nick is a bad ass DJ and when he says listen to something, I do it.

I first heard Kaskade in a mix on the amazing Ghetto House Radio. This video makes little to no sense, but the song is awesome.

style icon

Watched "Truth or Dare" last night. Man Madonna has inspired a lot of people. Fashion icon for sure.

sleepless in chico

True facts- I am a very tired girl.

Going back to working mornings (and yeah I mean I get up at 5:30 every day, I'm not whining about having to be at the office by 9 or anything, I am out my door most days by 6:30) after years of being on a regular 9-5 schedule or especially after my year at Radio Central Coast where I basically had to show up sometime before I went on the air at 2pm? It's a sleep shock.

It also seems that no matter how early I go to bed, I do not get enough sleep. I am either unable to sleep through the night consistantly or can't fall asleep. When I can't fall asleep I just get up. I mean laying in bed when you can't sleep is pointless as all get out anyway, so I get up, which I understand may not be the best thing to do.

Believe me it's not because I'm not exhausted either. Every day I work ALOT and I am usually drained by the time I drag through my front door. But without fail I'll perk up again at 8pm and won't be able to fall asleep until Midnight most nights. It's just how my body clock rolls. And the thing is I have no problem waking up and getting out the door either. It's just about the second hour of my show in the mornings the yawning so hard that tears are coming out of my eyes kicks up and all that make up I put on at 5:30 is on my shirt collar and I might as well have slept in.

I think a lot of it has to do with my bed or the futon as it were. It's hella more comfortable than the floor, do doubt, but it's still not an actual bed. I think this situation is getting rectified soon though so I'm not gonna trip. Hopefully a comfy bed will fix this sleep problem because yawning my way through the first few hours of my show isn't good radio.

I need to recreate whatever magical sleeping magic came down to me on Saturday night. I think I slept in on Sunday until almost 10. NO joke. That's so rare these days, if it were a steak, it'd still be up walking around and mooing.

Do you miss me?

Oh music...

photo dump

At LaSalles with Jeremy aka V-Rawk on Friday.

Rice Bowl dinner

Rice Bowl has a Marilyn Monroe roll....

Hanging out with the Z-Rock vehicle

Chada Thai

I went to this winery ran by monks....

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time

Yesterday I had to get into the boxes in my closet to look for something and lo and behold I found my box of year books and some photos that I thought I had lost and for a second I was super giddy and couldn't wait to go through them all. And so I popped open this box and sat down on my bed and started digging through it. I mean I haven't seen some of this stuff in over two years.

Process that for a minute.

Two years ago the majority of the people in my yearbooks were alive and well and looking through them probably wouldn't have taken my breath away, but it did yesterday.


I miss Chris every day. Probably more this time of year, because it would be his birthday still if he was still around.

Still around... man I was going through that box yesterday and here is all this physical evidence that my friend, my beautiful amazingly talented, funny, creative, caring friend once walked the planet Earth and made it a far sillier, far out, awesome place to live. And it made me sad because he's not here anymore and then it made me angry...

I can't ever say I will ever understand what happened. What I can say is I will never forget this sparkly eyed, wide smiling, sort of bratty boy who taught me so much and to whom I owe so much. I miss you Chris, still.

More music I like that no one else does

Surprises

It's a good rule of thumb to always be able to surprise people with something good or thoughtful. It really can and does change the mood of the entire day sometimes...

At my old job a co-worker and I unofficially took turns surprising each other with energy drinks. Stupid right? But whenever I came in to my office and saw one sitting on my desk it'd put a smile on my face all day, because hey someone thought of me out of context and did something cool to surprise me. I miss it.

I had a girlfriend J who was also a chronic surpriser. We were constantly leaving tapes or little cards or notes on each others cars or doorsteps. It was just neat to get off work and find some little something that someone saved for me.

And I love having people to surprise as well. Nothing makes me happier than sneaking some little treat into someone's life. Due to lack of people to show love to up here I've been mailing lots of stuff. I'm a giver, what can I say?

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Run this town...

This song came out about a year ago.



About a year ago I worked somewhere that played this song constantly. It's one of the first songs I remember really liking that we played. Every time I hear it I think of how weird it was to go back into the business after a year off. And how alien it was to go back into it, in a format I hadn't done in over 10 years.

I remember one night driving down the 101 to meet Teresa at a party because I was going to DJ a wedding for some friends of her parents that weekend, I was hustlin' pretty hard there for cash at that time. I was listening to our station, because I fell in love with it after about five minutes and I remember hearing this song. It might have been September by that point, and feeling kind of excited... I can't explain it but even then, I knew that going to work in that building was just the start of the next phase, that something was on it's way for me. And maybe it was going to be in SLO, maybe something else would come along, but thanks to a few people who constantly had my back, especially then when everything was new and scary, I knew things were going to get better.

It's funny because here I am in a new situation again. And those same people? Man they have my back still and regularly talk me off of whatever mental ledge I throw myself on. And some of them, I've known forever and some of them I wouldn't know on sight a year ago but now I can't imagine not knowing them and having them in the familia as it were...

This song sounds best cranked up loud in a car, windows down,driving. Doesn't matter where you're going... you'll get there baby.

im a sick bitch baby

So I seem to have some summer allergy attack and or a cold right now because my throat is all sore and swollen. Great.

This naturally led to me having one of those "Oh my god I'm 400 miles away from anyone who would bring me soup or notice if I croaked" moments last night and I slept like crap because of it. Awesome.

It's not that I really think I'm going to die of a sore throat or that I'm a needy girl by any means, but when I don't feel good, sometimes I'd like someone to take care of me. And in the moment I realized I had no one here I could ask for a hug or to buy me some soup or bring me some juice... I felt pretty lonely for the first time since getting here. Such is an occupational hazard of living on the moon.

I ended up talking to Teresa on the phone for awhile last night and Jennifer online and I felt a little bit better.

As evidenced by my post yesterday I'm a little homesick these days. It's not like when I moved from Bakersfield and I could just get up and go home any time I wanted. There's definitely some logicistal night mare ish to get home from here.

This month would've been my year anniversary at Mapleton. Weird.

slo mo home sickness

You might have guessed by now things aren't going awful for S. Beezy in the big C. The Moon is populated with cool people who just want to take me tubing and show me something called the holes and want to watch movies, drink booze and eat raw fish. Rock the eff on, I'm okay with this. I've even gotten used to it being like consistently 90 degrees and the fact that I should probably carry cash and not rely on my debit card like I did back home. I've had a dinner party in my house, pool party in my pool and many adventures. Yay, Chico isn't awful.

What you may or may not have guessed is... I miss home. For a long long time I fought against San Luis Obispo becoming my home because I knew if I got attached I would stay too long, but SLO is a tricky bitch that way and slowly but surely became my home. My heart's home. Yes I left my heart in San Luis O-Cheezy Bitch.

Here's what I miss, in no particular order:

The Black Sheep and their fantastic food. Mac and Cheese or Chili, holy baaaajeezus. And of course the amazing "make me something red" game. Nicole, who became my friend over the last year, mommying me through many of my little nervous breakdowns, including this move. Daaaayammn girl, I miss you. I miss Teresa Leigh Lara and her amazing family... always being there when I missed my own and Teresa and I having the SIP AND BITCH sessh after work... I love this girl like a fat kid loves cake dude, alot and often and I miss her and wanted to surprise her this weekend but I couldn't. I miss SushiYa. Best goddamn sushi joint on the west coast, don't let anyone tell you differently. I miss the Lovely and Talented Darcy and our SIP AND BITCH sesshes on the promenade or her deck. I need to get home and hug that girl. Of course when talking about the ladies in my life I'd be remiss to leave out my BFF Kristin and all the times she has held me up when I was about to fall over, and all the times I stopped into her work to decompress and gossip. I miss you baby girl!

I miss Wild 106.1. No joke, this is hands down one of the best radio stations in the world and I am completely blown away that I ever worked there. The man behind this monster won't ever agree with me, because he's shy like that, but you could take Wild straight up and throw it down next to any huge CHR and it will hold it's own. I am proud of that beast as if it was my own and for a minute or so, I got to play on the team. But I honestly miss listening to it as much as working on it, although not as much as I miss the studio there because let's face it, you could put ten of my studios in it and still have room for a napping couch.

Speaking of Wild... I miss my boys back home. I miss the insanely inappropriate Danny P, who sucks at staying in touch via Facebook but pretty much rules at life and doesn't know it, but held my head on straight more times than not. I miss our mixers, DJ Slick-nicest mother grabbin' dude on the coast, DJ Sauve Javi- new dad and old friend of mine, DJ Sol- who won't tell you this, but he's radder than eff and crazy talented. Also I'd be remiss in forgetting that snotty brat morning guy Jojo Lopez, who without I would have probably spent my last months in SLO with my head in the oven. Watch out for that kid, he's a genius, maybe even an evil genius and one of the best people in the world. Hands. Effing. Down. Love that snot.

I miss Mr Ricks and having drinks with my boy Steven Murray after work. He's not there anymore but I love him like family just the same. I miss Jenn Wynn. I miss Justin V like eff. Steve and Beau and of course the formidable Levi Caron, who will one day book the largest bands in the world. That kid has an ear for music that will blow you away. I miss my Avila Beach Familia- Jay, Courtney, Lora, Trent, Monkey, all y'all because you've always had my back and gave me more than I ever could repay. I love you bitches and I'm homesick for you.

I miss my BFF Tristan Negranti, which shouldn't even be possible because we talk every day and he's still a raging bag of dicks, just like I like him. I miss the possibility of running into that Jon Hansen asshat, because I love him too and love arguing with him. Don't know if he knows this but I used to just save up crap to make him mad because Jon yelling... funniest thing ever. I miss my Scott Taylor. I miss Amy Jacobs. I miss Mardi Hall. I miss the lovely Micheala Tanner which I didn't bring up in my blurb about Wild since she doesn't work there anymore, she can be with the El Dorado peeps. No SERIOUSNESS Kella was so kind to bring me out of my shell at Mapelton and MAKE ME play with the others. I'm beyond glad she did.

What else do I miss... Man I miss walking down to the sand on a Sunday, popping my ear buds on and checking out for four hours. I miss dancing at the Grad (no really I do, the Grad here aint like back home.) I miss going wine tasting. I miss Mc Bar. I miss Sunday Funday.

Anyway... its all good. I'm finding my way here. I just want y'all back home to know you are insanely loved and not forgotten. I HOPE to be down before the book starts to visit for a night or two, so cross your fingers, I'll hollah at you.

Love you all!

music and i

Music makes me dopey. This is a point of fact, a very important thing to know about knowing me. I meet people and wham a song is usually attached to them immediately. Or several songs in some cases. I mean music is around me all of the time and I will be in the middle of a situation and hear some song and think to myself "This song belongs to you and I and this place and time." You do do it too by the way, you probably just aren't as hyper aware of it as I am.

There were a couple of songs that just killed me when I was living in SLO, especially during that last month or so while going through the interview process and the leaving process. I won't say who or what they remind me of but when they come on, I can remember exactly what I was doing when I first heard them, who I was talking to, what was going on in my life, etc.

There was a lot going on back then. Behind the scenes I mean, stuff I'll never blog about because it's not just my story to tell, you know? And it wasn't anything horrible or dangerous or bad really, just stuff I didn't know how to process.

Anyway, there is this one Train song we used to play and pretty much every time I hear it I want to laugh. Or cry. Or track Train down and rip their faces off for ever writing it and putting it in my life, because it's like they straight up sucked it out of my head and are making millions of dollars off of it in a way.

I heard it again this morning, doing the Music Choice thing on my cable, and man... I had to sit down for a second. I let myself forget sometimes how much I miss certain people. Because you have to, sometimes, you just have to. Today, I guess I was just reminded how much I miss some people. And honestly that's all the detail you're going to get from me on that.

PS Eff Train. Eff Music Choice and Eff my brain. KTHNXBYE