Thursday, September 30, 2010

Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh

Another one from the friends of the program Hardnox. "Fist Pump," is hilarious. It's also currently being used by the play off seeking San Francisco Giants on their "Fist Pump Cam." Make sure you check out the 10.2.10 Giants Game to see Hardnox perform this at AT&T park.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

signs that I'm not from Nor Cal

Ben and I were drinking sake that his brother just brought back from Japan (like nothing in the box is in English) that comes in a juice box at the Muse show. Hipster much?

Also the crowds in Sacramento? Klassy. Yes with a K.

Even the largest city that's reasonable driving distance to me is moon like.

But from now on whenever I go to an arena show I'm renting a pregnant woman to go with. Adele made us all look responsible and people gave us a lot of space. Ha ha. But the baby enjoyed the show from what Adele said. Baby girl was dancing up a storm.

Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral

Flogging Molly - If I Ever Leave This World Alive

And obviously I want all my friends (all four of them here in Chico, ha ha) to have a huge party. No one is supposed to be sad. Jennifer already agreed to make sure it's quite a party, and she's younger than me so she'll make it happen when she's 85 and I'm 90. ;-) Bring your drinking boots.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Tonight, my afternoon guy and annoying brother I never knew I had, Jeremy, the lovely Adele and that one guy Ben ;-) and I are all heading down to Sacramento to see Muse at the Arco Arena with some other people from Chico, who I haven't met yet, but all of Jeremy's friends are cool so I'm not worried.

Road Trip! Concerts! Tailgating! Del Taco! Yes please!

Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding

This is a dumb question little meme, because I'm never going to get married. And that's not a woe as me statement, I just don't see it in the cards/stars for me. Let's be real, I've been asked twice. And almost a year later exactly, I was out the door. I'm just not the marrying type I guess. Too stubborn.

That being said, when I was younger and thought that it may happen and maybe I did have a big moon eyed crush on some guy I thought was just *perfect* (he is mind you, just not for me) I'm sure the idea crossed my mind. Sometime before I was even 21. And in this silly immature happily ever after senario, this was the song:

Back here in reality, when my ex and I were really talking about getting married (and yeah, we had all the fun parts planned out) this was going to be our first dance, because think about where we lived and who our friends were:

But hey, that never happened either.

Only a few days left of this meme, then I might actually have to make blog posts again!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad

This is another odd/hard one, so I'm going to post a couple:

Dashboard Prophets - "Ballad For A Dead Friend"

Oddly enough I heard this song for the first time during an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know next to nothing about this band and wasn't surprised that every video I found on youtube of it had something to do with some television show that had extremely dedicated fans that make fan videos. Don't ask me why, I just wasn't. Anyway this song always makes it into my sad bastard playlist. It's really the perfect song to feel sorry for yourself to.

Incubus - "Love Hurts"

It's very Junior High of me, but in the recent past I was often sad or at least bummed out because of this one guy I knew. We both really like Incubus. So when I was sitting around moping about this one guy I knew, this would be a song I'd listen to. Quelle immature. And no it's not who you think it is. Or maybe it is who you think it is. I'll never tell.

Bush - "Out of This World"

Another song I heard for the first time during an episode of Buffy. Seems odd, given what I do for a living, but Bush isn't really a band I listen to much, and this wasn't a radio single. Anyway this is pretty good sad bastard music. I listened to this a lot when I first got up here to Chico, on my iPod at night next to the pool.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy

Hardnox - "Going Out Tonight"

These guys are so silly and friends of the show. I had the pleasure of hanging out with them when they played in SLO last year and they're rad dudes. Totes happy for them, they're playing at AT&T park next weekend because the Giants are using "Fist Pump" as a rally song.

I listen to this song every time I'm getting ready to head out. It reminds me of some fun times back home and also puts me in the mood to go out and dance.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry

Against Me! -Turn those Clapping hands into Angry Balled Fists

This was on a mix cd Jennifer made me back in the Grover Beach days. We were both having a crappy winter and she made some CD for us both that reflected this. I listened to this song every single morning driving up the 101 for the entire month of November in 2005. Because I think we both felt like this that year. If something didn't do SOMETHING we were going to lose our minds and we were so bored we were actually angry about it.

"Turn those Clapping Hands Into Angry Balled Fists" - Against Me!

Sleep on pillows made in Singapore
Wrapped in comforters
Sweating through sheets
Drinking coffee in the morning
Floating on Airplanes across the vast seas

And your house is made of wood
Central air, central heat
You got your furniture of particle board
Your doors are locked for, for safety

And you walk in leather shoes
Pants of denim, a black cotton sweatshirt
And you do what you do
because doing can start to form a habit

And you drink all night long
And you sleep through the morning
And if something doesn't break
I'm just gonna go, go fucking insane

And you sweep up the floor when it's dirty
You do the dishes, when the sink's full
And when the refrigerator's empty
well it's time, it's time, it's time, it's time to go the store

You put your books on a shelf
Clothes arranged in the closet
You hang the things on the wall that you don't wanna be so easily forgotten

I hate these songs
I hate the words
That the singer is singing to me
I hate this melody
I hate this stupid fucking drum beat

But I'm not gonna tell anyone
What I'm really thinking about
Keep them conversations on the surface
Just keep on smiling
Just keep on saying
Everything's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright [x2]
Alright [x11]

Friday, September 24, 2010

Day 19 - A song from your favorite album

Deadsy - Mansion World

Commencement is one of my favorite albums and to be honest, this band brought a lot of people into my life and I wouldn't be the same for not knowing them (the band themselves and the people) so they deserve a place in this meme.

goodbye ChocoGato Cat Dog

Close to ten years ago when Jeremy Cross and I were dating and he lived with his band, his awfully stupid, but very sweet cat Nico got pregnant with a litter of the best kitties ever. Among the best of the best were Cheddar Bob and Choco Cat. It's funny because I wanted both of them, even though I already had a cat but a... anyway someone we knew adopted them. But they ended back up with us a couple of years later and had been a part of the family ever since.

Choco Cat was a great cat. He was HUGE like a dog and only meowed like this "me-ow. Me. Ow." unless he was talking to Mama D and then he would say "Mom." You think I'm joking but it's true. He always would climb in my lap when I went home and sleep and drool and purr. Huge baby. Best cat ever.

Unfortunately cats can't talk. No matter how much we think they can, they can't tell us when they're ill and so Choco couldn't tell my dad and Mama D he had a brain tumor. And sadly this afternoon he had to be put to sleep.

I will miss you, you big silly cat. You were a great companion and the biggest sweetie that ever was. You family and your cat family (Cheddar, Azriel and Lily) will miss you tons.

I love you big black dog cat.

all the kitties

Dads cats love their presents from Jennifer

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio

This is another one of those stupid questions. If I want a song on the radio, I make it so. Instead I'll just share my favorite song we're currently playing.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

thoughts on my trip to SLO

Man first of all I was glad to be home. It was great to know where everything was and see my friends and feel like I belonged. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting that way here, but to be able to walk into my Black Sheep and have something amazing dropped in front of me or an understanding face when I came back from visiting with someone else down there? Magic. Or seeing the amazing Jenn Wynn who doesn't facebook at Mr Ricks. Or putting my feet in the ocean...

Or my wonderful family there. The always amazing Tristan Negranti. My sister Teresa Lara. My hearts, Kristin, Micheala, and Jon! So cool of everyone to come out to see me. And of course the lovely Nicole who I missed like crazy. And yeah then there was my brother from another mother, the guy who kicked my ass up to the moon, Jojo Lopez, who probably didn't miss me one damn bit, but annoying the hell out of him was the best part of my day for about a year. No seriously, seeing everyone was crazy amazing and rad and I thank all of you for taking the time to put in facetime with me.

Leaving was hard. Not bawling my eyes out hard like when I moved, but definitely unpleasant. But I was grateful after many hours in the car to come home and find my amazing cat Lily had been well cared for by this boy person I know named Ben, who I have never mentioned by name here before. But there it is. I know a boy named Ben and he watched my cat and my apartment while I was gone. And he's pretty rad. So there's that.

Tonight I'm going downtown to see some live musics and probably eat tacos. Tacos morning noon and night people. It's how we roll in Chico.

I don't know when the next time I drop down from the moon will be. Hopefully before the end of the year. I miss you all dearly. I miss you more than I'll ever say out loud or on this blog. Yes, especially you...

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio

This question is dumb because the answer to it is "ALL OF THEM," as I live in the radio. However I just made a road trip and listened to quite a few stations and this is the one I heard a lot on that trip.

Nicki Minaj is so useless.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate

The Starting Line - "Bedroom Talk"

I discovered this song on a road trip with an ex of mine I'll call Q. I'm gonna be straight up here, Q was a jerk. He was mean and manipulative and he'll never admit it or apologize. But I was in love with him in this really weird oblivious way because I thought he was THE ONE or something equally idiotic. This was our first road trip, we'd gone to Santa Barbara so he could cover some film conference for work and I walked around at the downtown area and went to a few record stores.

I bought a couple of "punk" compilations for the punk show I used to host and this song was on one of them. It came on as we were leaving Santa Barbara on our way to some wineries and he asked me if I'd spend the night at his house again that night (two nights in a row?!) and everything felt perfect.

Later when he dumped me in this really cruel manner and then fell off the face of the Earth, I decided that song sucked and I never wanted to hear it again.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Day 15 - A song that describes you

Adam Lambert - "Whataya Want From Me?"

This was so my song there for a hot minute. Still is on some level, but I'm definitely in a better place in my head about something.

Vague it up a bit Bell. Jeeze. Anyway this is a great song. I'm posting it as a song that described not currently describes me, because honestly I can't think of anything that describes this place in my life...

Whataya Want From Me Lyrics

Hey, slow it down
What do you want from me
What do you want from me
Yeah, I’m afraid
What do you want from me
What do you from me

There might have been a time
I would give myself away
(Ooh) Once upon a time
I didn’t give a damn
But now here we are
So what do you want from me
What do you want from me

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me
What do you want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see
that baby you’re beautiful
And there's nothing wrong with you
It’s me – I’m a freak
but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away

I wouldn’t even try but I think
you could save my life

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me
What do you want from me

Just don’t give up on me
I won’t let you down
No, I won’t let you down

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
(whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me
whataya want from me

Thursday, September 16, 2010

glimpses of a life

"The worst that could happen? I could go home and kiss people. I DO THAT!"

"You kiss everyone, and tell everyone you love them. That's just you."

"You're okay with that?"

"I am strangely okay with that."

In 30 hours I'll be back in San Luis Obispo.

i wont be here

So here you go

Day 11 - A song from your favorite band

Depeche Mode - Dangerous.

Yes, just yet

Day 12 - A song from a band you hate


Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure


Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love

This song kept my head on....

I miss the airplanes

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

the unstuck

You ever think you completely have someone figured out or at least are starting to? And then something happens that is probably not even what you think it is and wham, you feel like an idiot and want very much to take back a lot of stuff you've said and just disappear off the face of the Earth?

.... yeah me either.

I'm going to work.

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep

Death Cab for Cutie - Soul Meets Body

This was the first song on my "go to sleep" playlist back in the Grover Beach house...

Day 09 - A song that you can dance to

I'm going to do two today because I think I'm behind...

If I had a dollar for everytime I've danced to this song in a club... well I'd almost be as rich as the lady herself. Ga ga ohh la la.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to

I'm glad I didn't have time to post yesterday because this is the stupidest question on this meme. Next.

Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event

Catch up!

P.O.D - Alive

This isn't one of my favorite songs by any stretch but since I didn't write anything about September 11th... anyway this song always reminds me of September 11th and not just because the album came out that day.

I just remember how worried I was that day. My boyfriend at the time lived in Los Angeles, and his area of town was evacuated and I couldn't get him on the phone. While nothing happened down there, I just remember being scared out of my mind for him and so relieved when he finally did call.

Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail

(playing catch up, and finishing this meme. I went to Taste of Chico with Jeremy and Adele on Sunday and didn't finish this on time. Sue me.)

It was the exact moment I knew I was going to quit my job in San Luis Obispo. I'd gotten off the phone with someone who's advice I wanted. I was scared. I was shaking. I was excited. I walked back into my old boss's office to tell him that after a week of stressing and crying all over the place, I was taking the job and that I was going to leave. It was hard for me to look Jojo in the face and quit, to be honest. When he hired me less than a year before that moment, he changed my whole life again by getting me back into radio and giving me a home for a little while at that radio station. The minute I walked into the SLO studios on Buckley and met this kid, I met my brother I never knew I had. My radio bizarro me. I walked in for an interview and thought I was meeting a future boss and really I ended up meeting one of my most cherished friends.

So there I was, full of nerves and sad and excited, not knowing if I wanted to cry or throw up but I told him. And he smiled and was happy for me, even if he gave me a hard time and still does give me a hard time about "abandoning" them. But that moment right before I said what I needed to say... I don't think I've ever felt such a weird mix of emotions and yet the next moment once it was out of my mouth, I was positively giddy. I had done something I always wanted to do, and because of the love and support of the people at my last job and my family and most of my friends, I had done it.

I am doing it.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Day 06 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere

Lady Antebellum - "Need You Now"

This song reminds me of San Luis Obispo. More specifically my last three months in San Luis Obispo. We were playing it constantly around mid-March and never really stopped. I reminds me a lot of driving the 101 to work or to the Black Sheep for lunch with Nicole. Or driving home from the Grad late at night and hearing it on the station. Sitting after hours chatting with a friend until my phone would ring to snap me out of it...

This is the last song I heard while actually in San Luis Obispo. I was at that 76 station on S. Higuera and had just filled my car up and stepped into my car and there it was. I remember reaching for my phone to text someone and then thinking that no, I had to get on this freeway all by myself and go. And I did.

Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail

Finally figuring out how to be a great Program Director. Getting to a larger radio market. Losing that last 10 pounds. Managing money better, although you really can't get blood from a stone, you know?

I used to think that falling in love was part of this too. I'm not so sure now.

I want to always be creative though, surrounded by creative wonderful people, great friends and good times. That's all I want right now.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone

This one is hard because I have song that reminds me of everyone... Seriously if you know me, you have a song. So eff it meme, I'm going to do a couple here:

Oh yes, you see Poison here. "Look What the Cat Dragged in" reminds me of the most fun I ever had, ever because of the beautiful and insane (in the best way) Jen Wa the Destroyer. I think we listened to this song a million times when we were going out to wreck shop on SLO or some crap dive bar in Grover Beach. Or some club in Hollywood where we were trying to get out of work actors to buy us Thai Food at 4am. (Don't ask.)

The Urge - "Jump Right In" reminds me of the summer after high school when my BFF Megan and I were doing absolutely nothing. We rode the bus around, went to movies, laid out by my pool and stole cars basically for a couple of months. Oh and went to dance clubs in the "bad part of town," and the mall. Typical. But I hear this song and I'm 17/18 years old all over again. Ahh yes, my 18th birthday party where the fire department showed up. Ha ha.

Bob Marley & the Wailers - "Simmer Down" reminds me of my old boyfriend Chris who I've written about so many times, I don't need to explain him. But this is one of those many random songs he introduced me to and loved.

Train - "Hey Soul Sister." If you know me, you don't need the explanation. I could do an ENTIRE post about this person/songs. Hazard of what I do for a living I suppose. If you don't know, guess, you're probably right. Stupid idiotic song. God it's cute though.

And finally....

Katy Perry - "Teenage Dream," look I'm just as mad at myself for liking this song/album but it's really good. And I'm pretty warped from my year at the pop station. One thing, watch this video and if you've ever driven from the SLO area to Santa Barbara / Ventura... you'll recognize some of this. It's totes the 101. By the way when did Katy Perry get hot? Where was I when this happened? Oh right, who does this song remind me of? Oddly enough they know that they do. And it's not who you think. So ha?

Good god, I'm 12 years old!

Anyway enjoy those.

Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail

This one is easy as well...

I miss being made to laugh until I cry. I miss feeling like everyone I'm around knows exactly what I'm saying. I miss my friends who loved me anyway when I was unemployed and fat (ugh god unemployment didn't agree with me at all!) I miss dancing. I miss da mothereffin' booth. I miss all the things that were never said. I miss sip and bitch. I miss my family.

I miss So Cal.

(two more days of this meme left!)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Day 04 - A song that makes you sad

Band of Horses - "The Funeral"

This is just the saddest song in the world... Seriously.

Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail

Toss up:


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

MUSIC MEME - Day 03 - A song that makes you happy

Miss Kittin- Frank Sinatra

Oh please if you can't figure out that this song is just fun, you fail. :)

Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail

Easy- Not being able to make radio anymore.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

MUSIC MEME- Day 02 - Your least favorite song

God seriously I have so many, but top of the list has to be this:

Kid Rock - American Badass

Seriously, let's BLEND TOGETHER two artists that make my teeth hurt with how much I don't like them. Kid Rock "Rapping" over Metallica? No thank you. I'll pass.

Day 25 – A first, in great detail

I won't say what day it was. I won't even say where. There was just this epic scrap of time where it was too loud, we were laughing too hard about something and God only knows why but there it was. Boom, a first kiss that should have been a last. A blink and you'll miss it moment. Laughing again afterward because what the hell else do you do when you awkwardly bump into someone that way? Swallow the moment and move on.

Monday, September 6, 2010

the music meme

I know, I know, I'm crazy to try to keep both of these meme's going at the same time, but at least it makes me blog a few times a week, which is good for me.

Day 01 - Your Favorite Song

B-Movie - "Nowhere Girl"

I first heard this song back when I was a senior in high school. This guy I knew was also a DJ and did some club stuff as well. We used to talk on the phone quite a bit and he was always telling me music I should listen to and this was a song he said reminded him of me. The first time I heard it, I was hooked. Great stuff. There's a cover of it by Jesus on Ecstasy that's pretty bad ass too.

"Nowhere Girl" - B Movie
Nowhere girl, you're living in a dream,
Nowhere girl, you stay behind the scenes,
Nowhere girl, you never go outside,
Nowhere girl, cause you prefer to hide.

Every day, every night
In that all old familiar light
You hung up when I call you at home.
And I try to get angry
And I try to talk to you
But there's something stopping me from getting through.

Nowhere girl, what you had you need,
Nowhere girl, all functional and neat,
Nowhere girl, in self-imposed exile,
Nowhere girl, a martyr-like denial.

Every day, every night
In that all old familiar light
You hung up when I call you at home.
And I try to get angry
And I try to talk to you
But there's something stopping me from getting through.

Every day, every night
In that all old familiar light
You hung up when I call you at home.
And I try to get angry
And I try to talk to you
But there's something stopping me from getting through.

Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail

Talking animal movies always make me cry. No joke.

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail

That's easy.

My friends and family.

Swimming in the pool or laying at the beach.


Music music music.

Making someone else laugh.

Kisses and cuddles.

Holding hands, but it has to be a specific pair of hands.

Hello Kitty.

Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail

Social injustice. The fact that gay people aren't allowed to get married. The way someone looks at you when you say "I do not want kids." People trying to force meat into my diet again. Violence against animals or children. You know, that kind of thing...

Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail

(meme catch up time!)

I remember sharing war stories one day, well "the time I went to jail..." stories in the hallway at work. Being from where we all were from and being in radio it's a given that you have a "the time you went to jail," story and we're all laughing about it, because now it's funny and now it was a long time ago and it's just one more thing that we've bonded about and the three of us are laughing so hard that I almost cried but the thing that puts all of us over the edge is just how disturbed our engineer looks at the three of us literally laughing our asses off about having been in jail at one time or another.

I miss moments like that.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Day 20 – This month, in great detail

Huh... August was a pretty rad month all around...

I work pretty much constantly but my little bubble of people at work, the Familia North as it were make it fun. V is a freakin full scale riot and my sanity on a daily basis as is the amazing Bryan who I knew I would like the minute I met him. These dudes keep my head on straight and make everything pretty okay.

I got a new bed, that was bad ass. Saw some good bands down at LaSalles. Joined a gym. Back up to doing 2 miles in 30 minutes, which is bad ass. I'm trying to get back up to at least four miles every other day. I'm insane, I'm aware but damn if people don't notice.

Been hanging out with some dope ass people. Several great peeps in my life right now and I couldn't be more grateful to them for being around.

Dain, one of my first Chico friends I don't work with had a gorgeous baby girl. I went to the Butte County fair. Went to a car wash at a strip club. Megan and Grant came to visit and we went every where, including the Sierra Nevada brewery.

I went down a pants size. I missed home a lot less for about five minutes and then wham, ton of bricks, I miss it again.

That's pretty much it.

Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail

Man... really?

Fine. I regret not saying something sooner. Waiting to hear it from someone else. I regret that.

But it's not that big of a deal. Nothing would've been accomplished by it. Just two people who were avoiding the an elephant in the room would've felt less crazy a hell of a lot sooner. And then commenced with the awkward that follows.

But I don't regret what was said or done. Not by a long shot.

Is this vague enough for you little meme?

lDay 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail

Easily my best birthday party was my 30th. Almost all of my friends were there, my family and we had Basque food. These are all good things. It was a blast and I felt like a princess, even though I was too insanely fat to even consider posting a picture of me on that day.

Still great birthday.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

things to do after work today

1-Run my ass off. Seriously I NEED it. I'll see you later In Motion

2-Clean my #@$^% house

3-Catch up on my blogging.